For Us Marriages Are Made By The Stars In Heaven!

So I went to a cousin’s wedding yesterday and missed the main part too! Well, first I woke up a bit late, then I was too caught up in trying to tie my saree properly and then I was stuck in traffic for 45 minutes… not my fault! The mangal-sutra tying ceremony got over some 10 minutes before I reached.

It’s the marriage season and I am tired of hearing, who is getting married to whom, who is getting engaged or who is looking for a suitable alliance for their kid!

You end up meeting relatives who were present at the last wedding in the family and not recognize them. It’s very frustrating when they come to you and say,” remember me?” Now tell me how am I supposed to remember this person when he forgot to introduce himself/herself last time we met? Is it really my fault that you came to know from others that I am so and so’s daughter and they didn’t tell me who you are?

And then there are groups of aunts and uncles, cracking not-so-funny jokes about, who is gonna get hooked next! And teasing every poor 20 something year olds about it!

I once got this sms about how elders keep teasing you in a wedding that you are next. So the next time you go to a funeral you rag them by saying, you’re next!

Here’s a brief account of how marriages happen in highly conservative south-Indian communities.

To start with the stars play a more important part than the boy and the girl who are about to get married. Horoscopes are everything. It’s the alpha and omega of establishing an alliance. Exchanging of horoscopes with relatives and friends, having a huge data-base, collecting it from a few web-sites, sharing references are the routine. The families work harder at making a match than the boy and the girl!

Everything starts with exchanging of horoscopes and if there is sufficient match in both the horoscopes, then there will be a second round of exchanging of photographs. If they like your face too, then it’s a hit combo!

There is a session where boy sees the girl at her place. If he is in the US of A (which is a fact in most cases), boy’s family sees the girl, while girl has to make do with the guy’s pic till the week before their marriage!

Or boy and girl meet for five minutes in the balcony with the family eavesdropping and if it’s a bit open-minded family they get to talk in the other room with some amount of privacy and poor things know if it isn’t this guy or girl; it will be someone else whom they will get to meet for five minutes.

If they think they can deal with each other, they give their consent and the so-called engagement ceremony which doesn’t even have a ring ceremony, takes place anywhere between 5 days to 6 months.

And the marriage takes place anywhere between 2months to 1 year. 2 months because come on you can’t prepare for a wedding in less than two months!

And so they are stuck with each other ever after… happily or otherwise!

Trust me I am not at all exaggerating!

Once decided no one breaks the alliance. It’s a shame to the family and blah! But I feel it’s because the couple hardly know each other to reach the point of breaking up the alliance!

I mean I am not against arranged marriage, but you at least need the freedom to choose your partner, spend time with him/ her and decide whether you really want to marry that person.

I don’t know when these kids who act like programmed robots are gonna take things I their hands!

I just hope my stars don’t let me down…