The Year Review

Source: Tuesday Tales

1. What was the best thing to happen in 2005?

Me discovering the institute I'm currently studying in and finally getting into something art related.

As far back as I can remember, my answer to the 'What are you going to be when you grow up?' question has always been 'A Fashion designer or something else definitely related to art'. Not that I'm into clothes per se, but somehow it was the only 'arty' career known to my then younger self.

Somehow I got into commerce in junior college and ended up in an institute that stressed on academics above anything else. My professors figured I had potential (I got pretty good grades) and were determined not to let me waste it. So even saying something like 'What if I became a fashion designer?" would have probably sent them into spasms of shock and horror. By the end of those two years, I had an amazing marksheet, the experience of real hard work and a career goal of 'Uh...maybe an MBA?' (My new standard answer to the 'What do you want to do in the future?' question. I would get tons of advice on a daily basis to quit the management stream and get into something art related.

Then college happened.
Three years of amazing people, fun times and learning to live by myself (Of course I was'nt entirely alone. I had Amethyst and Jade for company). Three years of management. Three years of having people exclaim 'What on earth are you doing in management?' when they happened to get a peek at my doodles in the utterly boring finance lectures or my ideas and work for the college fest as the Head of the Creative department. And all the while I was fighting my own battle with my insecurities and self doubt. I knew was good at art/drawing, but who was I to think I was good enough to do it on a professional day-to-day basis? Did I really want a 9-5 job in some multinational company? Did I want to spend my life doing something in management that I might be reasonably good at/might work hard at but really did'nt enjoy? Or did I want to take a huge risk and get into a field I enjoyed but was'nt at all sure of? And even assuming I was ready to take the risk, did I want to spend another 3-4 years studying art?

Such questions continued right till the end of college and even after I graduated. I settled on some half-baked idea to get a job with my management degree, maybe even get a post graduation in the field and all the while try to do something (I had no idea what that something was) with my creative/artistic abilities.

But getting a job was'nt easy. The offers coming my way did'nt excite me, and were'nt that great either. And all throughout I had visions of being stuck in horrid job I did'nt like and spending my life with the regret that I had'nt had the courage to work for my dream.

Two months, many interviews and a horrible period of self-doubt, worry about my future and dissatisfaction with myself and my life later, in the midst of half heartedly preparing for an entrance exam that would get me into a post graduate management program, I decided to give this institute I had come across while researching my options in an art related field a call. What appealed to me about them was the fact that they had a one year course as opposed to the usual 3-4 year courses offered by the other institutes and the fact that they did not require candidates with prior degrees/qualifications in art (I did'nt have any).

I called them up with the intention of gathering some details and maybe doing a course with them the next academic year if things did'nt work out with the entrance exam. But before I knew it, I was called for an interview, I'd shown them some of my work and I'd gotten admission! I'll never forget the day. Here was this guy who was quite well known in his field, telling me that I was really good! It made a difference to hear that from someone who I thought knew what he was talking about. I signed up for the one year course the very next day.

Five months later, I'm pretty happy with my choice. I get to do the things I enjoy on a daily basis and finally feel that I'm in the right place, that maybe this was what I was meant to be doing. I'm not sure what the coming year will hold for me, or whether I will be able to make a successful career in my new chosen field, but I do know that I'm happy with my career choice at the moment (Am already fostering dreams of becoming a freelance illustrator cum designer, getting something published, maybe even selling a painting - funny how I never had any dreams and ambitions in mangement) and that I will not regret not having done this years down the line.

So definitely the best thing to happen in 2005 was to finally have the courage to accept fate's push and start on the road to fulfilling a dream. :)

2. What was the worst thing to happen in 2005?

The two months right after graduation, before I got into the institute I'm currently studying in. I never want to relive that period of my life again. I was totally miserable. I'd come to realize that management was'nt the career for me and that I'd be miserable in it but at the same time I was incredibly insecure about my artistic abilities and unsure about how wise it would be to study art for three more years inorder to switch careers. I think I woke up everyday thinking about how my life was going nowhere while some of the very people I had graduated with seemed to be getting jobs and basically striding ahead with confidence and a sure knowledge of what they wanted in life. Was not a nice feeling.

3. What is your biggest regret of the year?

Tough one. But you know what? I don't think I have any. Not breaking away from mangement and giving art a try would have been my biggest regret of the year, but thank god that did'nt happen! :)

4. If you could do anything over again what would it be?

Relive my college days - all three years of fun, good and bad experiences, and the most importantly the people.

5. What do you see for the rest of the year?

Wish I really could see...but then again, where's the fun in that? Hmm...the usual ups and downs, graduating this course with flying colours :), hopefully landing a nice job, maybe even meeting the special someone ;)? Who knows?

I'll just have to take things as they come.